How to Smoke Weed and Be Happy

Alright folks, you’ve had that Bob Marley poster hanging in your parents’ basement for three years, you have at least two tie-dyed shirts and one Grateful Dead sticker, it’s high time to learn how to puff a little nug, to learn how to burn greens buddy. First things first, we’ve got to score you some righteous doobage. Just go down to your local neighborhood convenience store and look for a somewhat sketchy looking dude or lady who seems to be there quite often. More than likely, that individual sells weed; just make sure that is the only purchase you make from this unsavory individual. Of course, if this all seems a little too risky, you can always just ask a trusted friend who puffs to get some extra from their personal hook-up. Now, if you live in Washington or Colorado and are of age then completely disregard what I just said and go down to the dispensary with a boat load of cash and try some different varieties.

Okay, once you have secured your stash we are ready to begin with the actual partaking of said weed. Hopefully, your bud has a strong skunky smell. One good way to tell if you’re smoking bad weed is if it makes you feel like you need to brush your teeth or gives you a low grade headache, then you my friend have some dirty weed. Assuming you don’t own any sort of smoking paraphernalia then you’re going to want to get some rolling papers (I prefer the orange Zig Zags) and get ready to roll up a joint, or spliff if you’re a Rastafarian (in which case you should already know how to partake). Now, there are other methods, like using a homemade PVC bong or even an apple but lets not get ahead of ourselves here. Baby steps my friends, baby steps.

First you are going to want to break up your weed so it is loose, like the shake at the bottom of a delicious treat. And if you bought your weed from that sketch-ball at the corner mart than you are going to want to remove all seeds and stems. Don’t smoke that stuff friends, it’s bad for business. At this point you just merely roll the plant matter into a cigarette like you would with a hand-rolled cigarette. Light your joint (try not to go too big first time out, there will be plenty of times for fattys down the road) and inhale soft and smooth. Try not to take too big of hits as this may cause your joint to run. Now if your joint does start to run or burn uneven, don’t fret, just lick your finger and touch the problem areas. This will slow the burning and help with a smooth and even finish. Now you should be high as all get out. Put on some great music and veg out my little stoner friend.

For the Creative Puffer: Different Ways to Smoke Weed

Well folks, I could go on for days and days about this subject but since I’m not composing a dissertation I’ll stick to the basics. Most folks smoke using a small pipe (glass is always preferable and easy to clean, just soak it in Simple Green or rubbing alcohol for a day or two) or some sort of water bong. You simply break up the plant matter, and if you’re still smoking that nasty ick-ick weed take out the seeds, and load the bowl. Put a lighter to the bowl, inhale and take off for Never-Never Land. Make sure to have plenty of good tunes and fine eats for your adventure.

Now, on the more creative side I have seen and personally tried a plethora of ways to smoke herb. My good buddy once puffed out of a gas mask ( I would call this a risky bet at best) and using a simple coffee cup. Keep in mind that these methods are not for beginners. Now, anybody who has ever worked in a restaurant kitchen will have a host of stories about smoking through all sorts of different kinds of food matter. I have been there; I have tried these methods. When you need to use grocery bought products for smoking purposes an apple is always going to be your best bet. Just carve a little bowl out of the top of the apple where the stem sticks out, pull out the stem if you can and then use a small knife to simply stab the fruit for a mouthpiece. This is not by any means an efficient use of your hard earned weed but it will get the job done. Make sure when you’re done to try and make some poor high individual eat the apple. It is absolutely disgusting.

The Best Way to Smoke Weed

Marijuana smoke is an oil based smoke as opposed to say tobacco, which is a tar based smoke. This is why the smell of marijuana will air out much quicker than cigarette smoke. However, it is still smoke that you are putting into your lungs. Much of the negative affects of smoking herb can be reduced by simply passing the smoke through water with some sort of bong or portable bubbler. This makes a huge difference and will generally get you super high. Hey, it’s a win-win for you and your lungs!

However, as of late vaporizers have become all the rage. Now this is even a safer way to smoke than using a water bong. Vaporizers can also be more efficient with the burning of your weed, giving you more high for your hard earned cash. The editor of High Times magazine swears that this is the only way to do it and with certain high end vaporizers you can actually cook with the plant matter once you’re done smoking. Hell yeah Amigos! If you’re going to invest in a vaporizer make sure to use a reputable source like as there are more fraudulent and imitation vendors out there than you could shake a stick at.

Why are you still reading this? Are you already stoned? Rock on!

Back to Top